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I love being a girl...

And this is why... ahahahah!


Denise : Papa, i always wanted to get a ring... but should i wait for my boyfriend to get me one?
Papa : Why sould you wait for your boyfriend to get you one?
Denise : So that it's special mah..
Papa : What special special.. you get what you want when you want it, but be responsible for it.Get lah if you want. I'm not stopping you. You have to start making your own choices in life. Then if they're bad choices, u bear the consequences and learn lah...

( So, for RM17, i got this stainless steel ring that i like and will treasure...wahahahah! Simple things please me a lot.. ;p)



This is how much my cell members love me..hahah!


Quote of the day: ' You get what you want to, when you want. No need to wait for anyone to get it for you.'
But then... there's the
' be reaponsible for whatever choices you make'

I love my daddy...

speechlesness of it all...

Hmm.. what is it wiht the nurses nowadays? im not trying to overgeneralise, but one session was totally the opposite of the other.. hhmm.. last session, she pulled my pants half off my butt.. this session, she pulled halfway up my body....last session she did therapy on the wrong side.. at the right area.(that is untill i told her..) this time she did it on the right side, but much higher... too high..

Just when i thought..
1. i was heling well, the doctor found another very very very painful spot... u cannot even begin to imagine the pain cos i dont even know how to explain it.. pain la!
2. i knew everything and was prepared for my exam, out comes something totally..huh? what in the world is this? (thank God i found out in the end though..)
3. That i could go watch wild Hogs with my classmates, everyone suddenly has other places to be.. including me.. hehe.. sorry jac...therapy took longer than expected..

So dont assume.. it makes an ass of u n me. :P

sadcase sistah..

Crap! I hate stress! i put on 5 kg within a month... how in the world??!! gosh! haih... starting tmr, strict diet.. yeah rite.. how many times have i told myself tht... bodoh lah.. half a year to get to 55 kg, now one month of stress and im 60kg! i really.. im speechless.. cant swim cos of the back, plus the pool is under mantainance...oh gosh! what is this lah! have to really skip meals! this is bad bad bad!
damn, im tempted to get slimming pills or whateva even though it makes u crap ur guts out...
haih....
this is sad wei... please please give me discipline!!! urgh... fats! go away!

Just one of those days...

that's what it looks like during a storm... notice the motion of the trees... there was lightning and thunder too.. i unfortunately couldnt capture that..

And yet... aahhaha!

the burnt rock sugared beans...


yeah... haha!


if at 1st you dont suceed, try again... :P
(i shall have red bean soup tonight lah. haha!)

Haha! ever had 'one of those days whereby everything seems to go amusingly wrong? ahah! i burnt red bean soup today... hard to believe? well.. haha! i hung up the clothes when it started to rain... the nurse did therapy on the wrong side of my back.. i went into the wrong clss...3 hours before my class time...mr sniffles visited me when i least expected it to.. haha! weird kan? there was even a mosquito biting me in my room..mosquits dont visit me in my room... hhmm.... but hey...

Better pray for protection...and finish my devotion.. ahaha! got halfway thru today. then had to go for therapy..

I'd like to thank God for the joyful spirit he's put in me...though pain continues to probe me, tiredness tries to wear me thin, and mr sniffles wants to stay longer...im still in a good mood. :)

Oh.. and i shall be blessed with good scrumptious ABC soup tnite...WAHAHAHHA!!

Psalms of assurance..

Psalm 23

The lord is my shepherd, i shall not be in want.
he makes me lie down in green pastures,
He leads me beside quiet waters,
He restores my soul,
He guides me in paths of rightousness for His name's sake
Even though i walk throught he valley of the shadow of death, i will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
Your rod and your staff, they comfort me.

You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies.
You annoint my head with oil;
My cup overflows.
Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life,
and i will dwell in the house of the Lord
Forever.



Psalm 91

He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High
will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.
I will say say of the Lord "He is my refuge and my fortress,
my God in whom I trust."

Surely He will save you from the flower's snare
and from the deadly pestilence.
He will cover you with his feathers,
and under his wings you will find refuge;
His faithfulness will be your sheild and rampart.

You will not fear the terror of the night,
nor the arrow that flies by day,
nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness,
nor the plague that destroys at midday.

Athousand may fall at your side,
ten thousand at your right hand,
but it will not come near you.
You will only observe with your eyes
and see the punishment of the wicked.

If you make th Most High your dwelling-
even the Lord who is my refuge-
then no harm will befall you,
no disaster will come near your tent.

For he will command his angels concerning you
to guard you in all your ways;
they will lift you up in their hands,
so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.
You will tread upon the lion and the cobra;
you will trample te great lion and the serpant.

"Because he loves me," says the Lord,
"I will rescue him; I will protect him, for he akknowledges my name.
He will call upon me, and I will answer him.
With long life I will satisfy him
and show him my salvation."

Cooking...

It's been a long time since i last cooked...
Today, i had the sudden impulse to cook...(stress) haha!
Well, it's a better way of letting off stress than hurting myself kan?
I've learnt so so so much within these last 3 weeks....
Through good and bad... some experiences, i will never want to repeat again..
i've hurt myself, hurt people i love..and im really sorry for that..
I've made so many promises within this week itelf..
No more drinking and getting drunk to overcome my problems,
No more hurting myself to let out my anger...
I dont dare say I'm ok now, but im healing...healing and i hope improving...
God please help me as i move on....
Lesson : broken friendship isn't easy to restore.. so treasure your friendships..
Lesson : Stress and people and things that stress u will always be there. it's how you handle yourself, and face the problem that counts. ;P

Note : Thank you so very very much to those who've helped me thru this time of...err...depression? yeah... depression. Luv ya guys lotz!!

The Irony of today's lesson...

April 13, 2007
Celebrating Disappointment
READ: Psalm 30
You have turned for me my mourning into dancing. —Psalm 30:11


After receiving his second Academy Award, Denzel Washington said to his family, “I told you, if I lost tonight, I’d come home and we’d celebrate. And if I won tonight, I’d come home and we’d celebrate.” Denzel, a Christian, was trusting God, whether in blessing or in disappointment.
A Christian couple I know were inspired to follow Denzel’s example. The woman was applying for a dream job that had just opened up where she worked. The interview went well, but she knew she might not get the position. Her husband suggested, “Let’s make reservations at our favorite restaurant this Friday to celebrate—no matter what the outcome.”
Soon the news came that someone else was offered the job. But that Friday the disappointed couple still celebrated. While eating a delicious meal, they were able to count their blessings and renew their faith in the God who holds tomorrow’s opportunities in His hand.
When the psalmist counted his blessings, he was lifted out of his despair and praised God, saying, “You have turned for me my mourning into dancing” (Ps. 30:11).
Are you facing a situation in which you could be disappointed? Why not set up a celebration to count your blessings no matter what the outcome?
—Dennis Fisher—Dennis Fisher-->

Thank God in your disappointment,Celebrate His grace and love;Know that He will never leave youAnd will bless you from above. —D. De Haan


The pain of disappointment is soothed by a heart of gratitude.



I was diong my quite time today....haha! those in the worship team will understand... we're singing a song bout this this week.. :).
Thank you Lord for this reminder and new meaning of the song.

Joyful-ler. ;P

Books are back into my life..

I'm hoping these'll get me through this phase....I've never felt more weakness, vulnerability confusion or pain...I feel like an open wound, I am trying to heal..haih..... everytime i think im ok, and that it's over, it hits me hard again..why la why...pain la...pain...

Now I'm just looking for a book about verbal abuse....u have no idea just how much i need that.

Self Satisfaction...WAHAHAHA!!

Because I want la.. Cannot aar...




Hahaha! oh yeah.. im so satisfied with this.. ahaha! AAAAAHHHAHHAHAHAHAH!! nah.. bagi kau!! ahahaha!!

And thus marks the end of my depressing and tiringly numb phase..... ahaha!

Bluez...

numb... tired...numb...lost..in pain....tired tired tired.............