Tuesday, November 30, 2010

I was me.

Tonight, I was empowered. I pleased no one but me. Thank you Lord, you are wonderful!

Monday, November 29, 2010

When will the war within you end?

The truth is, you only stopped crying when I said,

"It's ok baby, I'm here"

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Cos I'm hero that way.. hehe...

Sometimes I feel like you're the toddler learning to walk. No worries, I'll catch you when you fall :) Just don't give up!

Lotsa Love,

The complication of simplicity

Sometimes, what you want compared to what you should do never really finds a comfortable balance.

In those times that I miss us like crazy and want to run back into your arms, I have to pray so hard for strength and replace that longing with sensibility.

It hurts..

But that's what you wanted.. for me to grow up.. for me to get ready for Australia.

No one ever said growing up was easy...

"Lord give me strength I beg of you, give me strength and joy, Lord. In your most Precious name, Amen."

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

I'll say a little prayer for you :)

Dear best friend,

It is today, that I woke up, and poison was strewn all across the coffee table.

I walked out to the balcony, looked up into the heavens and said "Thank you Lord for protecting me from this mess"

It is today I look at you with pity and compassion instead of honor, love, respect and commitment, and it is today I surrender you into God's hands, because he is the only one who can help you now. You and whoever you are pulling along with you. Friends, lovers, brothers...

You've changed. You are not the same person I fell in love with, the one who came to me because you wanted my help... you're different... a stranger in fact.. a lost stranger once again... We're back to square one. The broken person that needed help, just this time you don't want to admit it or accept it...

You are running to someone who will give you the answers you want to hear because I no longer do that, and I don't blame you because it's human, and you never like to lose, but it's not necessarily what's good for you. However, it is no longer my place to say, no longer my place to control. All I can do now is just be there for you when you fall because I am your best friend.

I've seen the real you, the unguarded sincere unpretentious you and I loved him, and he loved me with all his heart and that is why I gave him everything I could and I will always love him as he will always love me.. You think you are being true and I hope you are, but one day, you will realize it was all a lie once more because you constantly change your mind all the time like that.

Sometimes you say I don't see the big picture, and maybe I don't, but you don't see the things I do either.. sometimes I see different big pictures... sometimes I see the small elements along the way that eventually affect the big picture...

I see so so much potential in you. You are a natural born leader, and you can either lead nations to salvation or crumble them to the ground, and you seem to be doing the latter now..

You don't see the moral lines, you don't see your own reflection. You keep running away from it and I keep pulling you like a squirming child back to make you face it so that you will open your eyes and realize how silly this all is... you hate it, but it's what you need and you refuse to understand that. I have done all I can and now I surrender it all to God.

I will care for you as long as I can, as best as I can even though you don't want it because I know you need it, and I know it's good for you, but never again will I give you my heart the way I did because it is not yours, and I know that now.

You will always be welcomed into my embrace, you will always have my care, you will always be in my prayers and whenever you come crying to me, I will wipe your tears away and hold you tight, but I cannot give you my heart again.

I pray you will find salvation soon, because you have such a beautiful heart and you are such a beautiful person.

I regret nothing. We happened and it was beautiful and I thank you.

Here's my little prayer for you :-

"Dear Lord, I surrender him into Your hands. I beg Lord that you will help him. I love him beyond words and I know Lord, you are his only hope, the only solution. Father take over, Lord take my precious darling into Your almighty hands. I can no longer do this on my own, Lord help him, lead him and guide him. Thank you Lord for Your amazing grace. Thank you Lord for Your Salvation and wisdom. Thank you Lord. In your most precious name, Amen."


Monday, November 15, 2010

Hello, my name's Denise, what's yours?



Hello, my name's Denise, what's yours?

- You lose yourself when you lose your morals and your God, and for this reason I pray I never lose mine again, and I pray you will find yours soon -

(Denise Chhoa, 2010)

Monday, November 8, 2010

Mary Poppins

I am your Mary Poppins as much as you are mine.

Your little gypsy