Hope

Why so serious?

Because I've been hurt before. That's all :)

-De-

You are beautiful to me

It's so strange that it's you that can put the biggest happiest most sincere smile on my face but it's also you that can bore the deepest, widest hole in my heart?

And what's even stranger is that after all that, I still love you, still smile with you, hole in the heart and all... just as you love me...

Isn't it strange...

So now you know you are the one, and it's not just the idea of you.

"Those who love you are not fooled by mistakes you have made or dark images you hold about yourself. They remember your beauty when you feel ugly; your wholeness when you are broken; your innocence when you feel guilty; and your purpose when you are confused."

Love,

-De-

Why I love

You want to know why and how I can still love after all this?

Know my God and you will see, you will understand and you will finally be able to love like I do, love like He does, and you will finally be able to receive love.

It's never about what you deserve, because we deserve nothing, nothing at all. It's about what He chooses to give to us and what we choose to give each other.

Love always conquers all, love heals it all, love helps us forgive.

Love comes from God, my God :)

-De-

The love knot

Now I know His reason for us to meet,

Now I know His reason for choosing you, her and I specifically,

Now I know the reason I was chosen to hear her story, and why I was chosen to hear yours,

Now I know His reason for all the pain I ever went through,

Now I know His reason for His timing,

It was so I could love you :)

Know that you are never never alone my sweetheart, we'll always be there for you.

Know that you are truly truly loved. Every morning, wake up and know that's a reason in itself to live already.

Lotsa love,

-De-

"I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where. I love you simply, without problems or pride: I love you in this way because I do not know any other way of loving but this, in which there is no I or you, so intimate that your hand upon my chest is my hand, so intimate that when I fall asleep your eyes close."

— Pablo Neruda (100 Love Sonnets: Cien sonetos de amor)

one day, it'll be with the one that feels right, is right and doesn't hurt...God will get me there when it's His time.

-De-

When it all changes.

No, tonight is the night I say no, I stop. Tonight, all and any at all even the smallest bit of it, if it exists, of lingering hope falls out of existence. Tonight everything changes because I want it to, because I choose to. Tonight I embrace and I step away, not push, just step away from the path you are walking in, and let you walk right past me.

Tonight is the night I look past the love, past what was, and see what is as it is. Tonight, I cut out the compassion to save myself first, as selfish as it may seem. I cannot be of help to others if I myself am down. Tonight I shut you out.

There is nothing I can do if you can't even acknowledge what you know is deep in your heart, if you can't look past the bitterness, if you can't look past the anger and hurt. Only God can help you, so may the grace of God be upon you and may His presence descend upon you. That's all I can pray for you right now.

As for me, God, keep my head straight please, keep it straight. No more, Lord, keep me strong.

Amen,

Denise

Soul Mate

“A true soul mate is probably the most important person you’ll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then leave. A soul mate’s purpose is to shake you up, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light can get in, and make you so desperate and out of control that you have to transform your life.”

~Elizabeth Gilbert

In the end..

It was love, It is love and it always be love, and that's all that really matters, that's all that's really needed. Love, real real pure sweet love.

-De-

Words..

There's so much I'd like to say to you, so much I'd like you to feel... Not need to, just want to, but shouldn't and can't. So I'm just going to leave you a little smile, a prayer and a tiny bit of my heart right here for you... For that one day that you finally come to... Know that I loved you :)

Love,

-De-

There's too much to look forward to to look back..

But sometimes I do and I ache... I long to once again find that connection we made once upon a time, I ache to turn back time and fix all the problems, I ache to hold you close and love you again.. I long to find that man I fell in love with...

But that's hidden, changed and gone now. Things have all changed and all I can do is will myself to move on and look forward to what is to come.

These are the times where I need to beg, Lord hear my cry, and I know He will because no matter what I ever do, or whoever I ever become, no matter under what circumstances, He will always always love me for exactly who I am, and that's real real love...

So here, I thank you for the memories.

Thank you for Loving me.

Thank you for the beautiful memories to come.

Yours,

-De-

After all that..

Your soft spot still remains with me :)

De