Wednesday, November 9, 2011


We've all been raised similarly. What differentiates us is what we interpret of those lessons and the choices we make thereafter.

Love you mom and dad :)

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Dare you to move.

Decisions, feelings, instinct, gut.

Thursday, October 20, 2011


...and then there were 14 days :D

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Ahh, sometimes :)

I've done it before, I can do it again ;) No sweat!

Hello, we meet again :D

P.S. Sometimes it's the way you ask or say things - we are all human :) So both of you, clam the fuck down ;)

Friday, August 26, 2011

Come prove it to me

Build my faith in you again, I need you the most can't you see?

As it is, you cant even give me one proper week of your life. 1 week, for someone you claim is thecentre of your life... Sigh. Take some initiative already, I'm getting tired.

Wednesday, August 24, 2011


I am right here. Where are you?

Thursday, August 18, 2011

And yet..

Insecurity will be my downfall... but its what keeps me human, what drives me insane and keeps me impulsive and adventurous.

My kryptonite is the character in my life.

Dear you, you know how to bring out the worst in me, you know how to break me over and over again, you know how to smash my faith and compassion, and yet... and yet...


Sunday, August 7, 2011

Adult children irritate the life outta me.

Honestly, just grow the fuck up. Seriously.

Monday, July 25, 2011

Would you like to hear a little secret? ;)

Our babies will be beautiful thanks to you :)

Yours :)

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

As 23 looms nearer..

How is it even possible to be so very tired at the age of 23? Is it because I have nothing to look forward to or because I've lost my ability to be blissfully ignorant?

Being aware, being sharp is a gift and a curse..

Sometimes, it means losing your ability to have FAITH.


Sunday, July 10, 2011

If only you knew, If only you understood..

I wish you could see, I wish you'd let yourself see... I wish it wasn't all falling apart again.


Monday, June 27, 2011

What now?

As much as I fight it, I hate you. Sometimes, the both of you.

Monday, June 20, 2011

:D Home :)

Sunday, June 12, 2011


There's never time. Sigh.

Thursday, June 9, 2011

Cheers to you my love :)

Here's to you Shaneil Ramon Devaser, a toast to mark on this day, the harvesting of the fruit of your labor!

I love you and am so super proud of you!

Your Baby! :*

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Home is love

I am loved.

I may have no permanent place to call home, but my memories provide me with many homes throughout my life, and that has given me the ability to make a home wherever I go.

In my mind, what a home was, was in a sense, stability, but really, home is love, and I am loved, and that's all that's ever mattered and ever will :)

Thank you beautiful people in my life, present past and future for the love you have still do and will give me. You have all given me homes, and I want to say from the bottom of my heart, I love you.


Sunday, June 5, 2011

Hello goodbye

Would you, could you, should you?

Could I be too busy for you too?

The problem or the solution?

The idea or the person?

Home or house?

Fish or mouse?

Rice or lice?



Wednesday, June 1, 2011


Today I learn to be grateful for the things and people I have. I am blessed.

Kick away all that negative energy! Leave leave leave!



A decision, a choice, a love, a life :)


Sunday, May 29, 2011


I'm coming home
I'm coming home
tell the World I'm coming home
Let the rain wash away all the pain of yesterday
I know my kingdom awaits and they've forgiven my mistakes
I'm coming home, I'm coming home
tell the World that I'm coming

The time comes near...

So why do I pull away again?

Saturday, May 28, 2011

Damsel in distress

For that moment, you were my hero again.... It was nice :)

Friday, May 27, 2011

Teach me

Teach me to sing, teach me to play, teach me to dance, teach me to be as fearless as you, teach me to be me, let me be your Gypsy again


Thursday, May 26, 2011

When it all boils down,

I love that you love me for me :) I love you for you too, did you know that? ;)


P.S. Thank you for loving even the ugly side of me :)

Monday, May 23, 2011

Hello stranger ;)

Halfway across opposite ends of the world and we're still like two strong attracting magnets... Amazing or what huh ;)

Sunday, May 22, 2011

That's all I have to say :)

Thursday, May 19, 2011


Why do I always fight so hard for you?


Friday, May 13, 2011

But who else could I love?

In the end, it's always you.. no matter what, always still you...

Sunday, May 8, 2011

re-evaluation - LIFE

Where oh where did my bay-be go?

Thursday, May 5, 2011

Doesn't mean I'm giving up...

So maybe I'm not coping as well as I thought...


Sunday, May 1, 2011

Wake up call

You once said you needed to know that no matter what I'd be there.. well hello, it's a two way thing thank you very much - You gotta do some work too, put your back into it and make the effort to maintain this with me. Make me feel like it's worth it, else what is the point? I'm not that stupid, honestly.


Life - you don't always get what you want

I miss being cuddled, kissed, loved, told I'm beautiful both inside and out, or I'm special, even desired and adored to a certain extent, I miss being there, miss knowing...

I want someone to long to hear from me, can't wait to see me, someone to wants to know what's going on in my life, who feels as incomplete without me as I do without him... I want to be prioritized as much as I do for him..
I want to be able to have fun but know that holding back so many things at the end of the day was worth it...

I want to feel like I matter so much and that I'm irreplaceable...

I know I'm confused, sad, frustrated but I'm happy :)

Life - you never get what you want just cos you want it. Life's full of surprises. God given surprises, and that's how I still can be happy :)


Saturday, April 30, 2011


And then there are the times that you have the most deep and meaningful conversations when you least expected it...

There are also the times when you feel like you had a really productive day even though your assignment wasn't done

Then you realize, it's all because you have beautiful special people around you and you are truly and beautifully blessed :)


Sunday, April 24, 2011

Thank you Jesus

Today is my first Easter in Australia and I have never felt his presence, His sacrifice and His love stronger than I did today.

Thank you Lord for always being a big part of my life.

I give my life into Your hands, for who am i? Take over my mind, my body and my soul, break me down and mold me according to Your will.

Lord, use me, I am yours.


Friday, April 22, 2011

Too Busy

"Too Busy"

I think this is my most hated phrase in the world.

It makes me pull away or turn away in furious silence. Shatters my heart and turns my mind in angry defiance.

Too busy for love, too busy for life.

One day you'll turn back and realize life didn't wait for you, love gave up hoping that one day you'd understand it's significance, it need for nurturing.

So far in front yet so left behind.

One day you'll understand, one day when you're not too busy. One day, love is still hoping.


Thursday, April 21, 2011

My Darling, my Sweetheart, my Love, my Baby, my Bum Bum,

I dedicate this post to you with all the love in the world. It has been the most incredible journey with you, so here's to you, to the beautiful person you are, strong, brave, handsome and selfless.

I love you :*

Me :)

Wednesday, April 20, 2011


And then there are those times that you get caught up in so much emotion that you say things you regret.

For those selfish words I apologize.

Nobody deserves to be treated like that.

I bid you goodnight with a love so deep it hurts.


Sunday, April 17, 2011

A pillar of salt

You know those times you thought you were now ready, now strong enough to take on the challenge and face your fears?
-Well, guess what, you weren't.

You are only strong enough once your fears and your ghosts no longer haunt you.
-It's not about facing your fears, it's about rising to the challenge, triumphant.

It's about making a CHOICE and moving FORWARD without turning your head around.

With all my love I wish us well,

Freeloaders-and this time it's not the band

Boy as much as I love you, don't freeload off me. Seriously.


Saturday, April 16, 2011

In the end we all have to choose.

It always comes down to that - LIFE

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

In the pink top behind bars :)

There's just something about you...

You are truly

Someone I know I will never forget,

Someone I will never stop loving,

Someone who loves me in the most puzzling ways,

Someone who's patient, kind and beautiful,

Someone I will fall in love with over and over again every time we meet,

Someone who's so mysteriously special,

Someone who to the world hides behind a mask but to me not always to me

Someone who makes me feel,

There's just something about you :)

Something beautiful

Saturday, April 9, 2011

Who are you? Do you know me?

Hello, my name is Denise. And you are...?

Thursday, April 7, 2011

Dear You :)

There was a part of me that always knew, there is a part of me that still knows :)


Saturday, April 2, 2011

When the memory just needs a little jog

We often make decisions for a reason. Just because we forget the reasons, doesn't mean it doesn't exist :)

Sometimes it's good to sit down and reflect on your journey, just so that you remember a memory as precious as this.

Today I remember :)


Thursday, March 31, 2011

The grass is always greener on the other side

Why do I always wish for more? Why should I strive so hard for more, when all I need is to be happy with what I have now :)


Sunday, March 27, 2011

My boyfriend is the cutest!

Here is Shaneil's reason for why we are perfect for each other.

"Yes, we are a suitable, logical match. Mathematicaly speaking: If two persons with the same set of pros and cons raise a child, then the child will have the same set of pros and cons. If two persons with different sets of pros and cons, the child, if raised right, will have more of the pros and less of the cons. Simple genetics my love."

This is what happens when you pair an accounts and finance graduate with an arts student...


Sunday, March 20, 2011

There is more to life than just me :)

Their worlds came to a happy balance once ours did :)

Friday, March 18, 2011

A moment like this

We all have our moments. Mine just happens to be happening now.

Peace, hope, faith, perseverance, and the greatest of this is love.

Shaneil Ramon Devaser,

I love you with everything in me. Thank you for loving me the way you do.

Cheers to every single day I get to love you :)


I think I'd like...

to marry you (blush)

-Your Baby-

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Power and love

I become a child when I'm with you, I lose my control and I sit there defenseless, raw and vulnerable.

Monday, March 14, 2011

Another day in my diary :)

And then there are those days...

That you drop things multiple times, not only does your cooking fail, but your baking AND the diet you're supposed to be on, you bang your head on the corner of the cupboard resulting in an incredible swollen bump on your head, fail to do the targeted readings you portioned for yourself, and you burn your tongue and hand :S

It's just one of those days :)

One of my days :D


Saturday, March 12, 2011

And there was now.

Sometimes, we keep that part of ourselves closed for a very good reason. It's called being wise.

Because we took that giant step,

You are a part of my life, but am I a part of yours?


Friday, March 4, 2011

These are a few of my favorite things...

I love your beautiful mind


Thursday, March 3, 2011

Why not?

I could crush your soul if I wanted to and you wouldn't even think it was me.

Just because I could.

But unlike you, I have control over my demons, simply because God controls me.

But test me and see, I'll give you hell you never experienced before. I will be the poison that runs through your veins and leaves you screaming for salvation, and I will release the venom of pain til you bleed out, but you will not stop screaming, trust me you won't.

The part of me I promise you never want to see,

Wednesday, March 2, 2011


Aah the mind, aah the soul, aah the body :)

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Sometimes I wonder why you can't see what I see, sometimes I wonder why you don't have the same strength I do, sometimes, I don't understand why you forget the reason you chose life.

But everyday, I pray for you, everyday I love you, everyday I hope and surrender you into God's hands.


Sunday, February 27, 2011

A thought, an enlightenment, a challenge

If you could live again, how will you live it?

I pray for you with love, faith and hope.


Friday, February 25, 2011

Together forever?

Is it possible to love someone beyond words but not want to, or feel scared to marry them?


Saturday, February 19, 2011

Once again,

15/2/11 Once again, I am yours. I am truly happy. I am me :)

You have given me such joy, made me feel loved and special.

I love you :) Thank you for loving me too :)

Your Bum Bum

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Hello Melbourne!

I'm here! It's all so exciting! so overwhelming! But alas, I really miss home, I really miss him, I really miss familiarity.

I am grateful, so so grateful that I am here, and I know I will soon enjoy it. Just not yet. Soon, but not yet :)


Tuesday, February 15, 2011


D : Why does tomorrow have to be Wednesday? :(

S : Because Wednesday comes ofter Tuesday :)

The world through his blue eyes


"A marriage is being able to do what you want in life, knowing that at the end of the day, there's that special someone who loves you."

-Shaneil Ramon Devaser-

Monday, February 14, 2011

Because I do believe in the celebration of love - Valentines

I love you. I love that I can spend my Valentines smiling at the thought of you. Thank you for wanting me, thank you for loving me, thank you for choosing me, and thank you for hoping and seeing a life with me.

Valentines has never been more meaningful, our relationship has never been so precious than it is today.

It shouldn't have taken so long and so many stupid mistakes for us to get here, but it did, and now we're here :)

I cannot say I hope that we'll live happily ever after because I don't know. Plans change all the time.

But this I do know, today, right here, right now, I love you with everything I have in me and more.

And the best part is, I know for sure you feel it too, I know you are happy with me :)

Your Bum Bum

Sunday, February 13, 2011

They say everyone needs a second chance.

Dear child,

There are times when I hate you. When I wish I could rub it so hard in your face, so hard that you'd rather die and face burning in hell for eternity rather than what you feel now, feel 10 times the pain I went through... There are the times...

But what for? Who does that make me? What will I accomplish?

At the end of the day, what for? It gets me no where.

Nothing and No Where at all.

Lord, will you please please help me to forgive? I need it so bad.

Your pleading child,

Saturday, February 12, 2011


Friday, February 11, 2011

Dear you,

I love you


Thursday, February 10, 2011

Some mistakes just shouldn't be made

My Darling,

"The only reason I would never change the past is because I can't."
"The only reason I don't regret what happened is because it wouldn't or couldn't change anything."
But if I could change it, I would. Believe me, I would. I'd give anything to be sacred to you again. I'd give anything to have you sacred to me.

Some mistakes are never worth making.

Because forever, no matter how much we forgive and choose to move forward, that one fraction of the past will always haunt us, will always leave that slight wall between us.

What is love without trust? How can we forgive if there is no assurance? Faith - as foolish as man is, one will not put his faith on something or someone they cannot trust.

So what are we to do? Do you know? Because I don't, not really.

All we have is hope, love and trust, but the greatest of these is love.


Wednesday, February 9, 2011


I hate packing because it means saying goodbye... for real


Saturday, February 5, 2011

I am human

Maybe I'm scared of being around anyone that makes me feel vulnerable. I'm tired of having to pick myself up over and over again. It's a painful process.


Sometimes I want to run away from you...


Friday, February 4, 2011

But... I really allowed to be happy?


Monday, January 31, 2011

How could I ever ask for more? :)

Today he said,

"I love you"

Saturday, January 29, 2011

I'm going home

Hello family! I love it when we get together :)


Friday, January 28, 2011

Trust, Respect and Honor

But remember this,
"I'd rather know the truth than live a lie"

Till we meet again!

See you next week my love :)


Thursday, January 27, 2011

I love it that you hold me a little longer in the morning. You make it worth waking up :)

I love you,

I just want to be the most beautiful person in the world to you.
I just want to know for sure that you know and feel that I'm the only one for you.
I want to be the one you want to chase your dreams with.
I just want to be the one you fight for, make a living for.

But I will never hear it from your lips, yet I will know.


Monday, January 24, 2011

A world in a world - Because finally Inception makes sense to me.

Can we honestly create another world? A world in a world? Should we? Could we? It seems so impossible, yet bit by bit we are doing it...

Is it right? Could it sustain?

I love the world I am in with you, but everyday, as I step out into the other world, everything spins the other way around... and suddenly I realize that world we lived in is a different world.

My world melts away when I'm with you, when I step into the world we are creating...

I love it, and yet I fear it, for in that world, it's just us;
You and me, like 'yin and yang'.

The peace, balance and love we create radiates beyond our world to those we allow near it. Yet no one can enter in or else the whole balance disrupts.

Need I reason anymore as to why I want to grow old with you?

I want to grow old in your arms, but the same reason that drives me to desire this also makes me fear marrying you, because marrying you means stepping out of our bubble for a while, and the fear of the unknown starts to creep through the veins in my brain and rush past the valves of my heart.

I know in my head that all I need is to love and accept you with all my heart, and vice versa, and we can get through anything, but fear and doubt sometimes get the better of me because I am after all a silly human.

The time is coming where we'll have to step out of our world for a while as we separate. I am scared, as scared as you.

But I know right here, right now, I love you, and at present, that's all that matters, that's all that has ever mattered.

Thank you for our world, my Love. It has brought me joy, peace, love and happiness, and right now, that's all that really matters :)


Thursday, January 20, 2011

Then that's all that matters.

I Don't have to be with you to be happy, but I am happy when I am with you :)

-Bum Bum-

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

With Love from : Your Sidekick

It's funny that you think no one understands you; When you think I don't understand you, and yet, I am your decoder ;)

-Bum Bum-

Friday, January 14, 2011

I've Learned

I've learned that you cannot make someone love you.
All you can do is be someone who can be loved.
The rest is up to them.
I've learned that no matter how much I care,
some people just don't care back.
And it's not the end of the world.
I've learned that it takes years to build up trust,
and only seconds to destroy it.
I've learned that it's not what you have in your life,
but who you have in your life that counts.
I've learned that you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes.
After that, you'd better know something.

I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself
to the best others can do,
but to the best you can do.
I've learned that it's not what happens to people,
It's what they do about it.
I've learned that no matter how thin you slice it,
there are always two sides.
I've learned that you should always leave loved ones with loving words.
It may be the last time you see them.
I've learned that you can keep going
long after you think you can't.

I've learned that heroes are the people who do what has to be done
When it needs to be done
regardless of the consequences.
I've learned that there are people who love you dearly,
but just don't know how to show it.
I've learned that sometimes when I'm angry I have the right to be angry,
but that doesn't five me the right to be cruel.
I've learned that true friendship continues to grow even over the longest distance.
Same goes for true love.
I've learned that just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to
doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.

I've learned that no matter how good a friend is,
they're going to hurt you every once in a while
and you must forgive them for that.
I've learned that it isn't always enough to be forgiven by others.
Sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself.
I've learned that no matter how bad your heart is broken,
the world doesn't stop for your grief.
I've learned that our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are,
but we are responsible for who we become.
I've learned that just because two people argue, it doesn't mean that they don't love each other.
And just because they don't argue, it doesn't mean they do.

I've learned that sometimes you have to put the individual
ahead of their actions.
I've learned that two people can look at the exact same thing
and see something totally different.
I've learned that no matter the consequences,
those who are honest with themselves get farther in life.
I've learned that your life can be changed in a matter of hours
by people who don't even know you.
I've learned that even when you think you have no more to give,
when a friend cries out to you,
you will find the strength to help.

I've learned that writing,
as well as talking,
can ease emotional pains.
I've learned that the people you care most about in life
are taken from you too soon.
I've learned that it's hard to determine where to draw the line between being nice
and not hurting people's feelings and standing up for what you believe.
I've learned to love
and be loved.
I've learned...

Omer B. Washington

My heart exactly... this is a man after my own heart.


Thursday, January 13, 2011

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

The smile-reaction

Smile because your smile will make me smile, and my smile will make someone else smile, and someone else's smile will make someone else smile. Then we'll have the smile-reaction :D


Victor Lee adds : and if the other smile makes u smile back.. it's a smile chain~! never ending chain.. It started cause u decided to start it..XD

Sunday, January 9, 2011


One more time, it's Wendy and Peter Pan in Neverland :)


Friday, January 7, 2011

It's nice :)

Ahh.. I feel so loved...


Welcome home rockstar!


Thursday, January 6, 2011


Today I acknowledged my mistakes, tomorrow I will improve. Just you wait and see :)


Wednesday, January 5, 2011

What now?

Today we smiled :)



Where did it all begin, when did it all begin, how did it all begin, and when did it end?

The circle of life.

Life, it's full of surprises.



Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Thank you

Thank you for loving me :)