Sunday, June 3, 2007

Dad n daughter bonding time?

Bad weather + living in a valley + irritatingly slow service =

yes, the DSL light blinks on and off..

Mr Chhoa...My dear papa!


Dad and I were driven to Barney's because the internet wouldn't work at home.. sad kan? haha!


family holidaying in Langkawi 5-9th june...

Many things have been going through my mind these few days....suddenly i feel scared of moving on in life..it's going so fast! diploma, degree,masters?? theology?? graduation..going overseas to study..working..im 19 soon...next 20..then 21..then 22...then 50....*drawing deep breath*
Getting married, having kids, fullfilling my calling....uh...i fell choked and scared again..

Making wonderful friends, then having to let go of them and start a new life, new friendships all over again.. will my life always be like this? But what else can i do but embrace it and learn to adapt to my situations and make the best of it...


I suddenly feel my life is rushing by me without me realising it, and somehow, the only way i suceed or do well, is if i do things blurly...i feel like my whole life is a life of pretence...yet, i know it's not....


where's my focus? what's my motive? am i allowed to have motives? who's my priority? what is it? what do i want with my life? am i allowed to even decide what to do with my life?

Why do i go to church? is my heart right to serve? am i really giving my best out of love? Why do i feel like i never really knew God? why do i suddenly feel lost and lonely? why am i who i am? why do i know my life will be really used by God, yet i cant even justify to myself that I'm good enough? Am i gonna go through life serving blurly?

Thus, it is time to find my purpose in life, my aim, and spend a lot of time bonding with Daddy/Big boss...


3 comments:

J-mes said...

Hey ya..was reading ur post..yea time passes by like a bullet train...i'm graduating from diploma this month (provided that i pass)

Hmm, u know it is not a question of whether are we good enuf to be used by God, but rather are we WILLING enuf to be humble and to lay down our lifes to be used by God..If you see, God uses insignificant people in the past, who was elisha before God used him, who was gideon, who was David? Who was Peter? Who was John Sung?

Just remember as long as we look towards God for our future, know that He has instill in us his best intentions for us..

Audrey Juicy Tits said...

Whoa!! DeGirl going on a soul-searching journey?! XD Good for you! Yeah sometimes I think about growing up too, having to give up doing things I love that I won't have time to do in future, like my drawing, my video games, just hanging around with my friends, lepakking. But then there's nothing I can do but embrace life right? ^^

You know how Japanese high school and college students go on soul-searching journeys? They usually go on a road-trip or a bicycle trip around the country... ^^;;

Behonce said...

Aiyo, sudah mahu fikir kahwin? bila nak kahwin, ajaklah i.. boleh kacau ur hubby n check out his frens..kekekekeke...anak-anak tu, erm, i x jaga..call je babysitter or day care..i not Nanny mcBehonce....